Crying Out the Messy Prayer Might Just Be What Your Heart Needs

I took this picture after a prayer session held at the foot of my bed with knees on a pillow on my hardwood floor. That day, I could hardly breathe for the heaviness that was on me. I remember racing through the rooms of my house giving instructions to the children that mommy was going to pray and that they needed to occupy themselves for a while. The littlest of our clan was placed with an older sibling as the tears were already starting to flow. I ran over to my usual prayer and bible study spot in the homeschool room, grabbed my notebook, my bible and the box of tissues and flew into my room like a bird escaping fire. I was a mess. Crying often produces a mess like this. Crying out the messy prayer before God is well… MESSY. Sometimes it’s exactly what your heart needs.

The pillow was already on the ground as if God knew that was where we were going to meet that day and… I dropped. Flung myself over the side of the bed and wept. Groaned. Moaned. Sobbed. Cried out every bit of heaviness I knew how to before Him. I wrenched out tongues where I had no words and clenched my chest with more tears when even tongues would not come, letting my God rip me open to read and search my heart.

It wasn’t pretty. It was messy. It seemed like every 20 or 30 seconds I was reaching for another tissue because I couldn’t stop the faucets from flowing. No matter how hard I tried, those burning tears just kept flowing because they simply needed to, the nose kept running, mess and all.

But you know, it’s what I needed that day. Healing couldn’t come till I got real with God.

Psalm 142:1-3 says:

Maskil of David, when he was in the cave. A Prayer. I cry aloud with my voice to the LORD; I make supplication with my voice to the LORD. I pour out my complaint before Him; I declare my trouble before Him. When my spirit was overwhelmed within me, You knew my path.

I’ve noticed in the Christian realm that we’ve all gotten really good at sweeping things under the rug. Our sin, current events, seeking out the lost, healing the broken, touching the wounded– we don’t want the mess to affect us. We don’t want the ‘dirt’ to touch us. We don’t want to see, or let anyone else see, any dirt in us. We don’t want to admit that anything is wrong but…

Y’all, there is. There IS something wrong.

Marriages are falling apart, family units are being scattered, children are going to church but not coming home knowing anything more about Jesus, people all over the world are angry and getting angrier, terrorists are wreaking havoc, innocents in every nation are being slain, wars and rumors of wars are happening now and the “Church” has been betraying and slaughtering its own members like it’s on its own personal suicide mission.

Heavy.

Heartbreaking.

Crushing.

And we’re all being affected. Some of us have been infected. Our hearts have been hardened by the very things we are called to pray in change for!

I once heard a woman minister cry out in a service with such passion and desperation, “WHERE are the children of God who are not afraid to PRAY???!!! WHERE are the ones who are willing to cry out and not stop till they’ve brought heaven to earth?!”

In that moment,  I heard God’s voice, not that woman’s. I wondered silently, in conviction, if the Lord were to call me to pray about something and not let go of it til I’d heard and seen His answer come, would I be willing? Did I have the patience and endurance to see it through? What if He asked me to pray about something or someone who I couldn’t talk about, or a subject I wasn’t particularly fond of— and what if the thing He asked me to pray about didn’t benefit me personally in any way? Could I let go of my selfishness and agenda just to do the seemingly silent work in the kingdom AND see it through to completion?

Was I willing to get “messy” in prayer?

More and more, as I’ve asked myself this question, really, as God has asked this question of me… I have found the wrestling begin to weaken into a simple “Yes, Lord.” Whatever it takes, whatever He asks, no matter how much dirt is involved… I’m willing to go there and wrinkle my clothes, ruin my makeup, drench a box of tissues and stain the pages of my bible with tears at an inconvenient time because, seriously— we need ANSWERS.

Real ones.

And our busy lives are in the way! We need breakthroughs–THAT LAST. But the cares of this world are choking out our endurance and obedience.

We need the anointing– the one that ACCOMPLISHES the will of God, instead of just talking about it.

All throughout the bible, we see men and women of faith who weren’t afraid to pray the raw, honest messy prayers to their God. They cried out till they were HEARD. I want to be one of them. I don’t want to quit after one meek plea– no! I want to to pray fervently,  in faith and in power like the examples in the bible have taught me, and I’m willing to get messy, undignified,  in order to do it!

I’ve done a lot of “crying out the messy prayer” sessions since the above picture was taken. I’ve also had some peaceful, worshipful and tranquil sessions. And I’ve had some shouting and declaring sessions.

Can I tell you a secret?

The once avoided “messy prayers” are becoming my favorites.

Out of those have come some of the most profound and honest, unselfish prayers I’ve ever prayed. The desperation in my heart just to see God’s Word come to light and Him glorified increases as I yield my vessel to the work of prayer.

I sense, that many of us are being asked the same question– “Are you willing?”

With the recent release of the movie War Room and the book, Fervent, it’s a hot topic these days… don’t let it fade!! God is wanting to raise up committed warriors in these days to bring about His Will through obedience in prayer.

This year can be one of great fruit for those who are willing to answer, “Yes Lord.”

Let’s go for it!

Dear Father, I give myself over to You to pray as You lead. Help me to be sensitive to Your promptings and to obey quickly in prayer. Help me to be tenacious and to not let loose until that which You’ve called me to pray for comes to pass. No matter how messy, how long or how uncomfortable,  I say, “Yes Lord.” In Jesus Name, Amen.