What are some practical ways to “help” your husband on a daily basis?
This was a question I asked often as a young wife. Being a biblical helpmeet was important to me because it was clear in God’s Word that I was supposed to be of benefit to my husband in addition to being in love with him. I often asked ladies, “What are some practical ways to “help” your husband?”, and many women I spoke with seemed just as baffled as I was.
One thing ‘helping’ was not, was manipulation. Helping him was not controlling him, taking authority over him, or tricking him into doing things my way.
Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life. (Proverbs 31:11-12)
Being my husband’s helpmeet is being his partner, his trusted confident, his friend. Through the years, these are ways I have found that have been a true help to my husband:
Being his intercessor. Praying for my husband is truly one of the best ways I can help him. As I pray the Word of God over him, I pray the will of God for him. If he is willing, praying with him daily is also a blessing.
Respecting him. Showing my husband respect, honoring him, genuinely praising his efforts to provide for our family, considering and supporting his vision, showing my respect for him publicly. All of these actions on my part help him to step into the role God designed him for.
Speaking life over him AND to him. Being my husband’s number one encourager is so vital to his success. My husband needs someone to cheer him on in the arena of life, who better than his helpmeet, his wife? When I have given in to my flesh and not been a speaker of Life to my husband, I have always produced bad fruit and have regretted not choosing God’s Word instead. Our words matter!
Being respectfully honest with him. When there are issues that trouble me or that I simply don’t agree with my husband on, I have found it very helpful for him, and me, if I am respectfully honest with him. It never helps when I give into fear or other emotions and express them with my words- but if I am simply honest while maintaining my respect of him (& my trust in God), there is almost always a positive response from him.
“Your wife will be like a fruitful vine
within your house…” (Psalm 128:3)
Striving to anticipate his needs from day to day with a servant’s heart. Simple things, like helping him to problem solve, making sure he has a nice lunch to take to work every day, making his favorite meals, putting his laundry away for him, cleaning up the house before he gets home from work, listening to him and being there for him when he has had a rough day- all of these “little” acts add up to big love (& FRUIT) in a marriage. Having a servant’s heart for your husband can be difficult sometimes because it requires a laying aside of self. It can feel like a true sacrifice on your part, but the Lord will not let your efforts be in vain and He wants us to serve each other with His Love.
“Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.” (1Peter 3:1-6)
Submitting to your husband. When push comes to shove, wives are called to submit to their husbands. As we obey God in our role within our marriage, He will honor His Word. When we submit BY FAITH in God’s Word, it helps our husbands to become the leaders God intends them to be. God will work in your husband’s heart if there is any misguidance or wrongdoing on his part, so being afraid of whether or not your husband is right is something you should hand over to God to trust Him with. We obey– God works. Sometimes, this means submitting to a large decision like a career move that involves much transition for the family, sometimes it means submitting to your husband’s preference as to how the family finances are managed. However God is calling you to submit to your husband, do it in faith, knowing that God will honor your obedience to His Word. ***Our Father does not condone abuse- if you are in an abusive marriage, seek professional help to ensure your family’s safety.***
A little help please…
Being a true helpmeet might not always be easy, but it WILL be worth it! God will bless your efforts to be the biblical wife that you are meant to be, and He will give you joy- and FRUIT– along the way! Let’s strive to be the best helpers we can be!
Here’s one of my favorite resources to help you “help” your husband (This is an affiliate link through Amazon.com. I receive a small commission, at no additional cost to you, when you shop via this link) :