She’s here! Esther Isabella-Shaloam Kilcoyne arrived at 9:03pm on February 11th, 2018. She was 8.1lbs and 20.5 inches of pure beautiful! God has fulfilled His Promise to us that we would have daughters!
“The Lord said to me, “You have seen correctly, for I am watching to see that my word is fulfilled.” (Jeremiah 1:12)
My heart is so full and in awe of God’s faithfulness! In recent years, God has reminded me over and over that He has not forgotten one word that He has ever spoken to me. I’ll be honest and say that I have had some pretty low moments in my faith, especially in the last 4 years, where I couldn’t remember all the good He has promised me. And truthfully, sometimes in the waiting for His Word, it is so hard to not just give up. It’s hard to feel worthy of His Goodness at times, during those dark seasons, but He is faithful! He will ALWAYS keep His Word to His children! He has promised me more than just daughters, but having Esther has had an effect on me and my faith. I have such a ‘settled’ belief now, if that makes any sense, that I now know I did not have before. It’s as if God has opened up my heart to know that if He has kept His Word about our daughters, then surely He will keep His Word about everything else He has ever impressed upon my heart for this life and the life to come. And you know, God will do that- He will reassure you when you most need it. I am so very grateful for His steadfast love that has seen me through, and I am so thrilled to have Lil Miss 2 with us. She is precious and we love her so much!
Lil Miss 2
Her birth was… dramatic, lol. Labor was long (over 12 hours) but from the time I dilated to her actual entrance into the world- a matter of minutes! She did great, I was a wreck, but we’re good. I’m giving myself permission to take it slowly to allow myself to properly heal this time around.
For the last week we have slept, nursed, moved slowly, worked on establishing a good feeding routine and focused on good eating for mom. It’s amazing to me how HUNGRY breastfeeding makes me! I eat so often, trying to choose well… except for the Big Mac I HAD to have immediately following her birth! (THAT was very strange for me as I am not a burger person at all!) I have several supplements I am taking right now to replenish my body after such a trying pregnancy, I have never felt so depleted in all my life!
A Trying Pregnancy
This was the first pregnancy, ever, that I actually experienced ‘weariness’. Months 1-5 were filled with hyperemesis gravidium and serious eating challenges. I really struggled to keep good nutritious food in me and I was constantly worried about the well being of baby girl.
Then in month 6, SPD hit. Symphysis pubis dysfunction is no joke y’all! By month 8, it was not uncommon for me to break down in tears because of the pain. Physical therapy, unfortunately, did not work for me, so it was just something I needed to deal with. Then the nausea returned in the 8th month too. By week 36, I was beginning to feel like the baby was getting bigger than I could handle and I wasn’t feeling well. So, I was sent for a gestational diabetes test and… I failed. Big time. It was on February 8th that they told me that I had GD. That evening, I began to “itch”. My skin, especially the backs of my hands and the tops of my feet, and upper abdomen were so bad that I was trying lotions, cortizone creams, cold water… but nothing would help. I looked up my symptoms online and found that my symptoms were similar to cholestasis.
Finally, on the 10th, through counsel of a former obgyn, I had my husband take me in to the hospital “just to make sure” that all was well. For the first time in all my years of having babies, I was seriously worn out from a pregnancy! I don’t know how to describe it, except that I was so ready for relief from all these symptoms, and actually looking forward to not being pregnant. It sounds silly, but that is not normal for me! The on call doctor came back into the room after evaluating me and decided that immediate induction would be the best course given how far along I was and knowing the risks for still birth were higher, so, I was admitted. The funny thing is, I was already contracting. I hadn’t slept for 2 days because I was so uncomfortbale. Even though the reasons for being admitted were a little scary, I took this as a sign that this was indeed God’s timing for Lil Miss 2 to make her way into our arms.
I’ll spare you the details of the actual birth, but suffice to say, the whole labor and delivery floor heard the crazy woman in room number 7 and I’m told I scared one first time mom to pieces! (Sorry first-time mom!) Birth never goes the way I would like it to go!
Since then, it’s been a rollercoaster ride of doctor appointments for me and Lil Miss 2. She began to struggle with eating and weight loss, so we’ve been evaluating her weight a couple times a week and supplementing with a small amount of formula to make sure that she is getting enough calories. Because of this, I am literally nursing around the clock and building my supply the best I can. Being born 18 days early, it is possible that she just needs to catch up and mature a little more. We are also going to have her evaluated for Lip & Tongue Ties to make sure this isn’t the issue. Regardless, making sure she gets the nourishment she needs is my top priority right now and it has been very time consuming.
Things that have been a blessing to me:
The prayers of everyone around us. I am always amazed at how God has blessed me with so many faith-filled friends and family! So many sweet messages and agreements to pray for our family, Esther and me. I am filled with gratitude because I know that prayer makes all the difference!
Freezer meals and Meal planning. Once every couple of weeks, I assemble meals for the freezer. Sometimes I am able to put an entire month’s worth of meals in the freezer, other times. it’s only for a couple weeks. Whenever our local grocery store has a meat sale, I take advantage of that and make as many meals as my freezer will hold. The afternoon before I was admitted to the hospital, I got another spurt of energy and decided to throw together another 6 meals for the freezer. I had no idea that I would be admitted that night! It was nice to know that Daniel and the kids had good meals already prepared for them and when I came home, all I needed to do is ask someone to pull out the meal for the next day in th evening and in the morning, dump it into the crockpot. My husband will usually cook up some pasta or rice or make a salad to go with our meal at dinner time. SO easy!
A Chore System and Schedule Oh you guys, if you only knew! This system has continued to bless me year after year. My house is NOT perfect (with 5 kiddos at home, like, ever!), but having our chore system in place saves us so much stress and ensures that we can get back on track when needed.
Giving myself permission to rest. In times past, I was in such a hurry to “get back to life” that I added too much stress and strain to my post partum days. I didn’t want to disappoint people so I answered every call and text, messages on social media and obligated myself way more than I should have to visitors and events and ministry. I currently have no schedule except to make sure baby girl and I get cared for, the meals get put in the crockpot, chores and basic homeschool tasks are directed daily, a load or two of laundry gets done and I spend time with each family member in fellowship. I sneak in bible reading or prayer throughout the day also. I have two rules for this season: NO PRESSURE! & NO TIME FRAMES! I find that I am much more relaxed and healing nicely because of this simplified commitment.
So, that’s what we’ve been up to since Lil Mis 2’s arrival!
I do ask for everyone’s patience as we just settle in with our new arrival. So many blog plans, but definitely not a lot of time to implement them… yet! 😉 And if you feel led, please say a prayer for us, that we will be sensitive to God’s timing in all things and in the care for our Lil Miss 2.
Completely His & Pursuing the Fruitful Life, Nicci