Hey there and welcome to the Fruitful Motherhood Blog Series! This series is an updated version of a blog I wrote years ago and I am happy to be re-sharing it today!
A note from a journal about 9 years ago:
Our two year old figured out how to unscrew the flour bin today… sigh. Yes, little Cedar has been “figuring out” lots of things these days. Things like opening locked doors, how to open up the peanut butter jar, get a bread knife and attempt to spread the peanut butter on bread, himself- and everywhere else for that matter– and it seems like every electronic we own, including my cell phone, has weird glitches lately and changed settings. Yes, all eyes are on Cedar – especially when things go wrong, get “accidentally” thrown in the garbage, broken, or lost. “Uh-oh” from his little two-year-old lips bring us running to wherever he is like there is a fire- and honestly, I am not so quick to count that imagined scenario out right now!
Fast-forward to about 5 years ago and…
Our Lil Miss has discovered mommy’s makeup! She has confiscated all my lip gloss and is hoarding it in her room, pitching a fit if I try to lay even one finger on it to take it back. Did I mention that she has taken all my scarves too??? Yep. She loves to dress up and have tea, dance and sing, cooking and donning tiaras, get lots of snuggles and books… and ATTENTION. Lots and LOTS of attention. God bless her, but this little two-year-old girl wears me out more than all her brothers combined!
And, of course, 3 years ago:
A knock at the door brought an angry neighbor with a handful of lava rocks that he had collected from his yard as evidence that two mischievous boys (yep, ours) were caught red-handed for throwing rocks from our yard to theirs… while their precious children were in their yard playing. Little eyes that dropped confirmed that this was a true story and while they are in their room “thinking about what they’ve done”, their father and I are trying to figure out exactly how consequences will be doled out.
I never expected “motherhood” to be so… colorful.
Since then, we’ve been blessed with one more little Miss which brings our grand total to SEVEN kiddos in the Kilcoyen Clan. And stories like the above continue to be recorded in my journal as a remembrance of my motherhood days.
Kids – you gotta love ’em! Let me ask you: Are you a JOYFUL mother of your children???
I have many days in my home when I sing through somewhat clenched teeth, “I’m a joyful mother, I’m a joyful mother of my chiiiiilllldrennnn…”
I used to read Psalm 113:9 and plead God to make me a JOYFUL mom instead of a stress-filled mom! I’ve had to learn to develop a sense of humor and to not take everything so hard since a baby was first placed in my arms.
I’ve had to learn to laugh when I’ve wanted to cry, take LOTS of deep breaths, pray when I’ve wanted to scream, stay silent when I’ve wanted to speak, and praise when I’ve wanted to complain. The more I practice, the better I get, and the more joy I experience.
I’d like to say I’ve mastered fruitful motherhood after 20+ years of parenting, but I haven’t.
I have to be vigilant in keeping my heart right every day, and some days, I simply crash and burn. Thank the Lord that His mercies are new every morning!
At this season in my life, I feel like I have a quadruple punch thrown at me daily because I have all four major age-groups in my home: elementary, tween, teen, AND adult! Needless to say, it has been a very interesting decade!
From the boundary-laced dynamics of the relationship with my adult children to the unmotivated grunt-response I receive from my teenager whenever I try to ask him something. Every “I dunno” answer I get from the tween to the screaming tantrums and insatiable curiosity of the younger ones… yep, quadruple punch.
We have never “spaced” our children, allowing God, in His infinite wisdom, to decide the timing of history each one would arrive in this world. And it leaves me to wonder sometimes how the Lord saw fit that I could handle such a feat, but here I am in the trenches doing exactly that.
By His Grace and Mercy I get through these days and wake up each morning to do it all over again — and most days, I get through it, though dizzy and exhausted, unscathed!
No joke– I actually LOVE this crazy lifestyle.
Being a mom has provided me with an outlet for every gifting and talent the good Lord has endowed me with. I have even picked up a few more on this road called ‘motherhood’.
Pursuing fruitful motherhood has broadened my vision of quality life and has utilized my every faculty in order to be successful at what I do.
I’ve had to become a good cook in order to feed all these growing mouths, I am constantly working on my abilities as a communicator, counselor, and confidant. I must teach and problem-solve every day, and have almost “neurotic” organizational and scheduling skills.
I am, along with my husband’s leadership, responsible for the moral and spiritual atmosphere of my home (some of the heaviest responsibility you’ll ever feel the weight of) and if I succeed in cultivating fruitfulness in that area: I become a builder for the kingdom of God!
My financial skills continue to improve year after year (thank you budgeting-skills and couponing!). I multi-task to the extremity, I can plan events on any scale now. I can fund-raise just as well as any political campaigner, in my humble opinion, I run a personal first aid clinic (oftentimes on an HOURLY basis).
And if all of that were not enough- I do it while homeschooling, being hospitable, kissing boo-boos and tear-streaked cheeks, wiping little tushies, and reading bed-time stories. And my story is not unique- mothers all over the world do this and MORE. Why? Because we are fierce and awesome!
Being a fruitful mom takes work and a deep dependence on the Lord
Becoming a mom has shown me just how much I am dependent on the Lord and His counsel in my life! I simply cannot achieve fruitful motherhood without Him!
In 1994, a tiny, 5-pound, premature bundle of BOY was placed in my arms and I was forever changed. There were complications afterward and I needed extra care for recovery. The doctor told me that I wouldn’t have trouble conceiving children. BUT, it would difficult to carry another child to term, and that I would always be considered high risk.
Well, 25 years and 6 more children later, and it’s been worth every moment!
There have been times in my life when I have thought I was not cut out for this “job“. Honesty here: those were the times when I didn’t see the real potential and value of what I was doing. And this IS an honest struggle for many women.
- When you’re neck-deep in diapers and sleep-deprived madness, it’s hard to think that you are doing anything of lasting value.
- Or you’ve just had an explosive disagreement with a strong-willed teenager. It’s tough to not question whether or not you are qualified for “this”.
- When you just want your body to be yours again and to eat a meal without interruption. It’s difficult to see the end goal in sight!
- Your perspective is challenged when everyday moments like using the restroom is met with protest. And taking a shower has to occur while little hands pound at the door!
- Trying not to worry, but to trust the Lord instead, about the young person and the choices they are making.
- Trying not to be a control freak in the middle of a family crisis. Instead, digging your spiritual heels into the worldly dirt and praying off the enemy’s tactics from destroying your home. Motherhood is not for the faint of heart!
Us moms learn quickly how to treasure the sweetness of spontaneous kisses. And the “I wuv you’s”, the midnight snuggles and giggles from tickles are often our saving grace in the trenches!
We learn fast how to ‘dwell in the moment’. For the teenager who wants to get their thoughts out to a listening ear. And we are thankful that they are still talking to us at all.
Fruitful Motherhood is a delicate and strong calling all at the same time.
When you are striving to be a fruitful mother by the Lord’s standard, you realize what an awesome call He has placed upon your life.
Let me tell you, It is not just about raising “good kids”. Mothers, and wives, are so much more than that.
My above “roaring” wasn’t to puff myself up, or any woman for that matter. But I hope you to see that what we are called to as mothers is an excellent honor. And God specifically created us for the task!
In order for you to first see your potential as a wife, mother, and keeper of your home, you must get a vision from God’s Word and His Presence.
God intends for this role you have to be joyful, fruitful, and fulfilling. But He also intends for motherhood to produce a godly seed when it is all said and done.
We have been tasked with one of the most important roles throughout history. To raise up godly children who will serve Him and love Him with their whole heart isn’t light work. We are given the honor to directly build His Kingdom through the raising of children. It wasn’t until I understood this that life in Mommyland became exciting.
Sadly, so many women today are missing out.
They are aimlessly going through their days with no real plan or direction. They become more frustrated and discouraged in their motherhood journey because they don’t know what to aim for. This should not be the case for God’s woman.
Most of the time, you don’t go on a trip without a map or directions of some sort. Being lost in the middle of nowhere is no fun, especially with little ones in tow!
Yet, day after day, women are on this journey of motherhood with no direction and guidance whatsoever. And they feel like they are in the middle of nowhere in Mommy-land. Not only do they suffer for it, but their homes and families suffer too. God wants them to turn their attention to the task at hand: cultivating fruitful motherhood!
It’s time to start learning of and speaking of the excellence of fruitful motherhood again
Fruitfulness in motherhood should be our goal just as it is in every other area of our lives. God wants us to tend to the garden of our families and bear fruit for His Glory. He also wants our children to reap the benefits of growing up in His Blessing. And He wants moms to have JOY in the process!
In this series, I am going to share what I have gleaned from the scriptures about motherhood.
Sister, I pray you will realize how valuable you are as a mother in God’s great plan within His kingdom. That you will see how utterly precious you are to the generation you are helping to raise!
Next week, I will begin the series with a simple definition in the Fruitful Motherhood Series of what it means to be a mother according to the Word of God.
I hope you will join me throughout the series to be encouraged, validated, and inspired. Out of every subject available, this one is probably nearest and dearest to my heart and I am looking forward to diving into the Word again concerning motherhood.
For this week, if you are seeking the Lord on the role of motherhood in your own life, if you are struggling to be fruitful in any area as a mother, let me encourage you to be honest with your Heavenly Father.
He knows every nook and cranny of your heart mama. And He is waiting to help you and strengthen you. He wants to give you the wisdom you need for your motherhood journey. If you know of areas that you need forgiveness in, confess them to Him. Ask Him to give you scriptures about those areas to turn them around.
You see, one of the number one ways the enemy attacks a family is to try to break down the mother. Fruitful motherhood is a direct threat to his kingdom of darkness.
In the upcoming series, you’re going to see why. Your role is so much more important than you realize dear one! The enemy knows that if he can take out a mother, he can take down her whole family.
But by God’s Grace, we’re not going to let that happen! We’re going to get in the Word, we’re going to stand on its authority and we’re going start bearing fruit for the kingdom of God! Fruitful motherhood is yours in Christ Jesus!
Let me also encourage you to lift your head high and reclaim your position as a mother in Christ. Stop beating yourself up and allow God to restore confidence to you as a mother. If your children are in your care then you are up for the task with His help! I’ll see you next week!